WORDS OF WISDOM
WORDS OF WISDOM
It’s nearly here, 2020
Yes we have Christmas coming and then the New Year’s festivities....what next?
Whilst I’m not a fan of wishing my life away I am a fan of planning, preparing to the best of my ability and then letting go.
Why not get a handle on your 2020 by starting with a plan.
Create it now and enjoy the holiday season knowing you have your starter kit for 2020 in progress.
How effective are your New Year’s Resolutions?
‘New Year’s Resolutions’ or steadfast goals, which do you prefer?
Generally ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ are often made on a whim, which fades with the sun somewhere between the 3rd & 10th January as you say to yourself ‘I’ll continue with being resolute, tomorrow, next week or next year.’
Turning your ideas, dreams, wishes or aspirations into specific goals doesn’t come with the same pressures as opting for ‘New Year’s Resolutions’.
Goal setting and planning when done in your own time provides you with greater options, space and resources to achieve them.
The first thing to do is acknowledge it, instead of being fearful. If any type of fear subsequently accompanies your feeling of self-doubt, then also acknowledge your fear. It sounds a strange thing to do but acknowledging the feelings that at first seem to hinder your progress is a valuable way to remove the hold they have over you. Awareness and acceptance of feelings or emotions labelled as negative will mean you can start the process of removing the power they have over you and in the case of self-doubt will enable you to elevate what you believe yourself to be capable of.
When we fear something or are uncomfortable with the way we’re feeling there's a tendency to veer towards avoidance rather then acknowledgment, exploration and acceptance, which would in fact provide you with a starting point for options towards change and more affirmative action.
The uncomfortable feelings you experience such as self-doubt might at first appear to be there to trip you up or stop you from progressing but they are created by you (mostly unconsciously) with a helpful purpose in mind. They are created to protect you, which is a wonderful intention but not always helpful. They’re created with the intention of saving you from being hurt or disappointed and to keep you safer within your comfort zone, the zone of only doing what you know and where you think you are certain of the outcomes.
As humans we are very complex in the way we think and sometimes it’s not always easy to understand our thought processes, which determine our behaviours and actions.
Because being behind it means it’s an obstacle.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome or Imposterism has been around for a while. This is what it’s currently known as but who knows in a few years it might have a new name.
Imposter Syndrome generally affects your professional life and is described, as having a persistent feeling of inadequacy despite there being evidence to the contrary. Even though you’ve experienced success in your life, you still have the feeling you’re a fraud, a fake or you’re not good enough and at some point you will be found out and marched off the premises.
The interesting thing about Imposterism is that it affects high achievers, people who for all intents and purposes could be most proud of themselves for what they’ve achieved in life, but instead they are mired in self-doubt.
I see Imposterism as part of self-development or growing pains, uncomfortable but if you want to go further in life, necessary.
The logical mind might tell us the feeling we’re experiencing of feeling like a fraud doesn’t make any sense, but the intense emotive feeling of self-doubt does not lend itself well to logic.
If you’re feeling challenged in this area here are a few things to consider:
Are you fed up of yo-yo dieting? Want to learn how to love you body? Want to ditch the scales?
You have an ideal that you want to eat healthier, think better and move more. You’ve had this ideal for a while now but life keeps getting in the way. You start with more fruit on Monday and by Wednesday you’re back to the Donuts and Wine.
What if this could be different?
What if you could follow the 80/20 rule where you eat well 80% of the time and allow yourself to have your ‘something else’ 20% of the time. How does that sound?
We’re all busy, we work hard, we have children, aging parents, partners and pets. All of these require our time, inevitably the thing that slips is how well we look after ourselves.
Having a healthier approach to life is not difficult and can be simple if you choose to prioritise self-care, being kinder to yourself and implement some basic manageable guidelines.
If you’re up for this now, keep reading if not I’ve planted the seed come back when you’re ready.
We want to help you buy into the idea of making better choices for yourself.
Your ally when it comes to looking after yourself more is your mindset. Once you engage your mind to be more supportive of healthier choices, you’ll find things become just that little bit easier, until you’ve created new habits that work for you rather than against you.
Where or how do I start, I hear you ask?
Communication plays a huge part in our everyday lives. It influences our relationships at work, at play, with friends, family, even strangers. There is no doubt that the way we communicate is important, in particular as a way of imparting and receiving information, ultimately influencing what we give and receive out of life.
The subject of communication is of course very comprehensive but for today I will be brief. My aim is to get you thinking, if only for a moment about the way you communicate, how do you like to share and exchange this valuable commodity.
A positive, great, mediocre or negative communicative experience has the power to leave you anywhere on the scale between feeling absolutely amazing and the complete opposite end leaving you feeling low and lacklustre.
How much effort do you make in your daily communication? Speaking, writing, or otherwise?
How do you like your communication best served?
How important is effective communication to you?
I have a thing, in that I really enjoy listening to others and how they communicate when speaking with each other, some might call it eavesdropping but I like to call it curiosity or research.
Struggling with self-confidence can affect each and every one of us on a day to day basis and it determines our ability to accomplish what we want in life and can affect anything from some of the smaller to the bigger challenges.
What are the circumstances where you feel less confident?
What happens in your mind when you start to feel this way?
As a result of the way you are thinking what happens next.
If you want something different at that moment in time could you change?
The key word is think. Your mindset the way you process your thoughts will determine your perspective and will also determine your level of effort in achieving any desired outcome.
There are many factors that can affect our-self confidence these can come in all shapes and sizes. Let’s start with self-belief, over time or at a given moment in time a lack of self-belief is one of the key contributing influences on your level of self-confidence. If you are also feeling tired, experience a negative comment from someone, or are having what might be considered by some to be a bad day may also detract from your level of self-belief and therefore what you feel self-confident about.
For those who have suffered with confidence challenges for a long time the probability is that a specific intervention or course of action may be required to build a (mostly) consistent level of self-confidence going forward. Here are some basic ways that can start you off, which you can build on overtime. These tips might also be particularly useful when you have a specific event that you want to get through, feeling at the top of your game and brimming with confidence so that you can truly enjoy your experience.
I'm older and wiser than I look. After many years working in the corporate world I decided to branch out on my own.......Brave eh?