WORDS OF WISDOM
WORDS OF WISDOM
The first thing to do is acknowledge it, instead of being fearful. If any type of fear subsequently accompanies your feeling of self-doubt, then also acknowledge your fear. It sounds a strange thing to do but acknowledging the feelings that at first seem to hinder your progress is a valuable way to remove the hold they have over you. Awareness and acceptance of feelings or emotions labelled as negative will mean you can start the process of removing the power they have over you and in the case of self-doubt will enable you to elevate what you believe yourself to be capable of.
When we fear something or are uncomfortable with the way we’re feeling there's a tendency to veer towards avoidance rather then acknowledgment, exploration and acceptance, which would in fact provide you with a starting point for options towards change and more affirmative action.
The uncomfortable feelings you experience such as self-doubt might at first appear to be there to trip you up or stop you from progressing but they are created by you (mostly unconsciously) with a helpful purpose in mind. They are created to protect you, which is a wonderful intention but not always helpful. They’re created with the intention of saving you from being hurt or disappointed and to keep you safer within your comfort zone, the zone of only doing what you know and where you think you are certain of the outcomes.
As humans we are very complex in the way we think and sometimes it’s not always easy to understand our thought processes, which determine our behaviours and actions.
Because being behind it means it’s an obstacle.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome or Imposterism has been around for a while. This is what it’s currently known as but who knows in a few years it might have a new name.
Imposter Syndrome generally affects your professional life and is described, as having a persistent feeling of inadequacy despite there being evidence to the contrary. Even though you’ve experienced success in your life, you still have the feeling you’re a fraud, a fake or you’re not good enough and at some point you will be found out and marched off the premises.
The interesting thing about Imposterism is that it affects high achievers, people who for all intents and purposes could be most proud of themselves for what they’ve achieved in life, but instead they are mired in self-doubt.
I see Imposterism as part of self-development or growing pains, uncomfortable but if you want to go further in life, necessary.
The logical mind might tell us the feeling we’re experiencing of feeling like a fraud doesn’t make any sense, but the intense emotive feeling of self-doubt does not lend itself well to logic.
If you’re feeling challenged in this area here are a few things to consider:
Are you fed up of yo-yo dieting? Want to learn how to love you body? Want to ditch the scales?
You have an ideal that you want to eat healthier, think better and move more. You’ve had this ideal for a while now but life keeps getting in the way. You start with more fruit on Monday and by Wednesday you’re back to the Donuts and Wine.
What if this could be different?
What if you could follow the 80/20 rule where you eat well 80% of the time and allow yourself to have your ‘something else’ 20% of the time. How does that sound?
We’re all busy, we work hard, we have children, aging parents, partners and pets. All of these require our time, inevitably the thing that slips is how well we look after ourselves.
Having a healthier approach to life is not difficult and can be simple if you choose to prioritise self-care, being kinder to yourself and implement some basic manageable guidelines.
If you’re up for this now, keep reading if not I’ve planted the seed come back when you’re ready.
We want to help you buy into the idea of making better choices for yourself.
Your ally when it comes to looking after yourself more is your mindset. Once you engage your mind to be more supportive of healthier choices, you’ll find things become just that little bit easier, until you’ve created new habits that work for you rather than against you.
Where or how do I start, I hear you ask?
Have you been experiencing challenges with your levels of self-belief and self-confidence? Do you often compare yourself to others usually elevating what they have and what they have achieved far above what you believe about yourself?
How often do we compare ourselves to others whom we believe to be living in the perfect kingdom when peaking in through the tiny window to their world? Rather than stirring you up to achieve more, does this comparison grip and impair you, so much so that you do nothing but overanalyse and compare even more? Would you be surprised to know that you are not alone?
We often compare ourselves to others without even realising what we are doing. Very few of us use what we observe in others as a way to actually focus on what we want for ourselves, strengthen our weaknesses or elevate our own self-beliefs. Instead the time is spent thinking negatively about how we view ourselves, about what we don’t have and how we aren’t where we want to be in life.
One of the most profound questions that I’ve ever been asked was:
Are you kind to yourself?
This question has contributed significantly to my own personal development, growth and to creating boundaries for myself, which I now hold in very high regard.
At the time this question was asked I was spending a lot of time contributing to the well being of others and not so much time was being spent on my own well being.
I have to say the question stopped me in my tracks and ever since then I am consciously kinder to myself, I have become more aware when I am not being kind to myself and so for the most part I treat myself with much more love and affection.
This may sound a little odd to some or perhaps a tad egotistical but here’s what I’m thinking, if I look after myself I will be around a lot longer and have a lot more energy to continue contributing to the well being of both myself and others and who doesn’t enjoy being looked after?
Here are a few questions for you:
There are many factors that can affect our-self confidence these can come in all shapes and sizes. Let’s start with self-belief, over time or at a given moment in time a lack of self-belief is one of the key contributing influences on your level of self-confidence. If you are also feeling tired, experience a negative comment from someone, or are having what might be considered by some to be a bad day may also detract from your level of self-belief and therefore what you feel self-confident about.
For those who have suffered with confidence challenges for a long time the probability is that a specific intervention or course of action may be required to build a (mostly) consistent level of self-confidence going forward. Here are some basic ways that can start you off, which you can build on overtime. These tips might also be particularly useful when you have a specific event that you want to get through, feeling at the top of your game and brimming with confidence so that you can truly enjoy your experience.
I'm older and wiser than I look. After many years in the corporate world I decided to branch out on my own…brave eh? My tenacity, resilience and wonderful sense of fulfilment from what I do keeps me doing.