Aiming for incremental improvements rather than a notion of perfection can lighten the psychological and emotional pressures we put on ourselves.
Obviously if waking up every day aiming for perfection is your idea of heaven, you can certainly skip this article, if however on reflection it’s actually creating stress in your life, perhaps it might be time for a review of your idea of perfection.
What is your definition of perfect? Do you aim for a perfect life? Perfection in all that you do? Job? Relationship? Car? Finances? Friendships?
How are you measuring your ideals?
Is it by what other people have, their material possessions? What they are doing, travelling, eating, drinking? Is it their Social Media posts?
Perhaps it’s defined by an ideal created by you, your parents, grandparents or maybe a friend or spouse?
How about these? Do you want more money? A different job? A better Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, Wife? A car that makes people turn their heads when you drive past, are any of these your concept of perfection?
When will what you already have, be enough?
Equality & Diversity is not only about gender, in this instance my viewpoint is from having conversations with women who are feeling extremely challenged working in predominantly male environments.
Here is an example: a conversation was started where a male colleague said “women who have children should not be given any special treatment at work, if they need to go home due to their child being unwell then perhaps they shouldn’t be working and should stay at home”. I appreciate this is one quoted comment but in the same environment it was noted as not unusual for inappropriate comments to be made by male colleagues.
It’s pretty sad to hear things such as this are still being thought, never mind said out loud.
How’s that overthinking working out for you?
As humans we think all the time. A little peak at Google tells me the experts estimate that the mind has somewhere between 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day, somewhere between 2,100 and 3,300 per hour….wowzers.
What happens to those thoughts? Do they help or hinder you. With all those thoughts going on it would be a shame if we don’t put some of them to good use and get them to work for us.
There are some people who enjoy their thought processes and choose to do nothing when they’ve finished with a particular thought pattern and are comfortable to just sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labour or take some form of action. Some however go through a series of thought patterns perhaps being less comfortable with the process, who then make decisions that either helps or hinders.
Thinking is obviously such a natural subconscious process we rarely take the time to explore how it’s working out for us.
Guilt can be an expensive emotion, often experienced with neither reward nor added value. I’m not talking about the guilt where you have committed a crime in the eyes of the law therefore punitive action is required or the feeling of guilt when you have wilfully and knowingly committed an ethical or moral wrongdoing, let's park those for now and move on.
To the type of guilt defined as; the feeling of responsibility, culpability or remorse that you hold for having committed a perceived wrong; or where you feel you have failed in an obligation, the type of guilt where you self-punish, whatever your preferred choice of self-punishment is.
I’ve been responsible (use of the word guilty has been carefully swerved here) of this in the past, I also often hear others talking about how guilty they feel; about something they’ve done, something they feel they should have done or worse, they feel guilty when someone else has deliberately gone out of the way to manipulate them into feeling guilty.
I want to challenge your thinking, your feeling of guilt is a choice, things could be different!!
Do you want it to be?
In the world that we now live in, so fast paced and technology driven I sometimes think about how we live and organise our lives. Things seem to have changed so much in the last 20 years but the reality is looking back things were always changing but for me it seemed to be at a much slower pace. Now I look at things through the eyes of technology and everything seems to be changing so much faster.
My personal inbox currently has 1,997 unread emails, which are a combination of newsletters, links to articles I would like to read, restaurants that I would love to go to at some point and general flotsam and jetsam, soon I will collate what’s in this inbox, quickly scan for anything remotely interesting, read if I choose to and then hit the delete button.
The reality is the majority of these emails will go into my trash never to be read nor seen again but I like to think that in keeping them for now I am giving myself choice. The priority for reading my emails is business first, I have a separate account for business emails, which I guard with my life and then I have one other account especially for my Accountant.
I imagine that my personal inbox will never be satisfactorily cleared unless at some point I am honest with myself. Do I really need to know of the existence of all these different learning programmes? Do I need to know what the latest craze is for anti-aging?
I suspect that I will never choose to find the time to read these emails because I have other things that I want to do and that ultimately they will all just end up in my huge capacity trash folder.
I'm older and wiser than I look. After many years in the corporate world I decided to branch out on my own…brave eh? My tenacity, resilience and wonderful sense of fulfilment from what I do keeps me doing.