Guilt can be an expensive emotion, often experienced with neither reward nor added value. I’m not talking about the guilt where you have committed a crime in the eyes of the law therefore punitive action is required or the feeling of guilt when you have wilfully and knowingly committed an ethical or moral wrongdoing, let's park those for now and move on.
To the type of guilt defined as; the feeling of responsibility, culpability or remorse that you hold for having committed a perceived wrong; or where you feel you have failed in an obligation, the type of guilt where you self-punish, whatever your preferred choice of self-punishment is.
I’ve been responsible (use of the word guilty has been carefully swerved here) of this in the past, I also often hear others talking about how guilty they feel; about something they’ve done, something they feel they should have done or worse, they feel guilty when someone else has deliberately gone out of the way to manipulate them into feeling guilty.
I want to challenge your thinking, your feeling of guilt is a choice, things could be different!!
Do you want it to be?
In the world that we now live in, so fast paced and technology driven I sometimes think about how we live and organise our lives. Things seem to have changed so much in the last 20 years but the reality is looking back things were always changing but for me it seemed to be at a much slower pace. Now I look at things through the eyes of technology and everything seems to be changing so much faster.
My personal inbox currently has 1,997 unread emails, which are a combination of newsletters, links to articles I would like to read, restaurants that I would love to go to at some point and general flotsam and jetsam, soon I will collate what’s in this inbox, quickly scan for anything remotely interesting, read if I choose to and then hit the delete button.
The reality is the majority of these emails will go into my trash never to be read nor seen again but I like to think that in keeping them for now I am giving myself choice. The priority for reading my emails is business first, I have a separate account for business emails, which I guard with my life and then I have one other account especially for my Accountant.
I imagine that my personal inbox will never be satisfactorily cleared unless at some point I am honest with myself. Do I really need to know of the existence of all these different learning programmes? Do I need to know what the latest craze is for anti-aging?
I suspect that I will never choose to find the time to read these emails because I have other things that I want to do and that ultimately they will all just end up in my huge capacity trash folder.
When purchasing a property or area of land it’s usual to have a boundary agreement in place that clearly shows where the demarcation is between your property and the neighbouring properties. In the event that there is a boundary dispute the agreement can be used to support any claim and hopefully settle the dispute.
Disputes in the area of property and land boundaries can occur where there has been no previous agreement put in place as to where exactly the boundaries lie.
I use this analogy as an example to highlight the importance of knowing and setting boundaries, particularly in your home, personal and work environment.
Exploring, becoming conscious of and then setting personal boundaries are important for your own learning, personal development and your self-confidence. When you become clear on where your boundaries lie it will greatly influence how others interact with you and will also contribute greatly to your own peace of mind and self-worth.
When you are clear on where your boundaries are, you become more certain of who you are and what you are willing to allow into your life, it also offers a platform to support you to be more decisive when the need arises.
I am older and wiser than I look. After many years in the corporate world I decided to branch out on my own…brave eh? My tenacity, resilience and great fulfilment from what I do keeps me doing.