WORDS OF WISDOM
WORDS OF WISDOM
Supporting Women in Business & Beyond. Bridging the gap between Ambition and Wellbeing.
What does success mean to you?
What are your motivational factors for success in your personal and professional life?
Are these motivational factors for success Internal or External?
What drives you? What is your raison d’être? Do you know? Have you ever thought about it or is it too heavy?
Internal or External Motivation
Most of us are taught to study, work hard, buy a home and have a family and if you’re able to manage these you’ll be happy.
What if this isn’t enough? What about emotional wellbeing, fulfillment, peace, contentment or ‘insert’ any of the other things that are important to you.
What about exploring the self-doubt challenges you’ve been carrying since your formative years, when will you tackle these? How much time have you set aside to conquer these so you can truly enjoy your new home.
How about the other complexities of life, when or how are we taught to tackle these if studying, working, buying a home and having a family are the things we’re being told are important and will make us happy.
What if achieving these material things and societal norms aren’t enough? What do we do then?
What does success even mean to you?
Lots of questions I know
For many years I followed the path of study, work and property this is what my parents taught me, I don’t have any children and I do have a lovely partner.
My parents are both from Jamaica. Brief background, my father was a disillusioned man who resorted to domestic violence, I guess this is what he chose to do because of his own childhood and life disappointments and frustrations, I’ll never know his why. In order to move past his behaviour and forgive him I’ve come to the conclusion, he was doing the best he could. He wrote on official documents and told anyone who would listen to him that he was an engineer. He worked on the production line at the Ford Factory in Dagenham. I had seen no other evidence to substantiate that he was an engineer.
My mother worked in catering at the Head Office of the Post Office. Despite her finishing school aged 14 she taught me how to spell when I was a child using 'the way words sound' phonetics, although neither us knew this is what it was at the time. My spelling is incredible.
My parents taught me to study and work hard anything after this was a bonus.
This wasn’t enough for me, I wanted more. From an early age despite or perhaps because of my negative and difficult childhood experiences, I knew there was more to life. I didn’t know what this ‘more’ looked like or what it was but I was curious and hungry to explore and learn. I wanted to understand what makes me tick and live a life full of discovery and excitement, even whilst struggling with the effects of having lived in a household shrouded in domestic violence.
Why am I telling you all of this? To make a point, I could’ve called it a day after study, work hard and property but I consider myself lucky enough to want to experience a sense of natural happy, fulfilment, peace and contentment the type that cannot be found in financial details and materiality. I consider life to be important enough to find a way to get past the hard stuff so that the easier things can truly be enjoyed.
Ok enough about me.
Your version of success must be your own and as such I believe taking into consideration your values, what is important to you and what you consider to be success is key, after stripping out how it’s measured by what your parents think, influencers, society and social media, etc., will determine what success is and what it looks like for you.
Celebrating what success really means to you, owning it and not being afraid to be different perhaps requires some additional bravado and courage, in a time where being the same and following what others are doing is prevalent and for the most part the easier option.
Owning your version of success and what it means to you, daring to be different means you can be satisfied and fulfilled knowing you are keeping to your truth and authenticity, call me old fashioned but what’s not to love about that.
I write this to ask you to create some time to explore and define what success means to you. What, if anything is in your way? If so what can you do to move beyond it, which will enable you to see and experience a conclusive shift to a more contented version of how you feel about yourself and your success?
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