How to develop more self-belief. How can I become more self-confident
Guilt can be an expensive emotion, often experienced with neither reward nor added value. I’m not talking about the guilt where you have committed a crime in the eyes of the law therefore punitive action is required or the feeling of guilt when you have wilfully and knowingly committed an ethical or moral wrongdoing, let's park those for now and move on.
To the type of guilt defined as; the feeling of responsibility, culpability or remorse that you hold for having committed a perceived wrong; or where you feel you have failed in an obligation, the type of guilt where you self-punish, whatever your preferred choice of self-punishment is.
I’ve been responsible (use of the word guilty has been carefully swerved here) of this in the past, I also often hear others talking about how guilty they feel; about something they’ve done, something they feel they should have done or worse, they feel guilty when someone else has deliberately gone out of the way to manipulate them into feeling guilty.
I want to challenge your thinking, your feeling of guilt is a choice, things could be different!!
Do you want it to be?
Sources of guilt
Guilt comes in many guises and can originate from different sources; self-generated, inherited, transference from our parents, all carried around like heavily laden bags.
Do you feel guilty when you haven’t seen a friend in a while or when you say “No” to someone? Do you feel guilt after eating certain foods that are not on your “healthy nutrition plan” or from drinking alcohol or a sugar laden beverage? These choices, the food, the drink and the feeling of guilt are all our own.
If misplaced guilt is a recurring theme in your life, are you ready to ditch the guilt?
What do you often feel guilty about? Where does this stem from? What would your life be like if this feeling didn’t exist?
For some, guilt is a ‘flash in the pan” feeling, fleeting and brief, but for others it is a cumbersome, weighty burden, disempowering, costing energy and enjoyment.
How many more times will you go through the experience of feeling misplaced guilt about something you have or have not done?
Are you ready for something different?
Start your new choices today, either decide to quit doing the things you feel guilty about or make a decision to ditch the guilt. The guilt will ultimately rob you of the pleasure of whatever it is you’re doing anyway, so go ahead have the cream donut, glass of red or give up the people pleasing but do it without the guilt. It’s time to re-examine your choices, move towards those that are much more beneficial and will allow you to have the pleasure of truly enjoying whatever it is you’re doing or not doing.
Like so many other negative feelings or emotions guilt is one that costs valuable thinking time and of course precious energy that could be spent doing other things that provide you with more enjoyment, a positive state of mind and the ability to be present and in the moment.
What can you do?
Are you someone who often feels guilt and wishes this wasn’t the case? Acknowledging this can be your first step towards something different.
Do you know or are you able to recognise what triggers your feelings of guilt?
What would life be like if you never felt the emotion of misplaced guilt ever again?
Can you imagine, how much of a sense of freedom you would feel?
Exploring your version of guilt will begin your journey of owning, eliminating or lessening it, which will allow you to choose whether your experiences are marred by this expensive, uneconomical emotion or not.
Let the weight of guilt go, for something much lighter.
If you would like help in this area or other mindset challenges you are experiencing Pragmatica Coaching works with individuals to create profound and effective change.
For more information or details of our consultations, please check out http://www.pragmaticacoaching.com/services.html
or call +44 (0) 7956 381 247.
I'm older and wiser than I look. After many years in the corporate world I decided to branch out on my own…brave eh? My tenacity, resilience and wonderful sense of fulfilment from what I do keeps me doing.